What I'm doing tonight

I bought a set of two when I was sick
Lol right?

I'm dying a slow and painful death

I am sick
I coughed up icky green stuff
and my head has the light and fuzzies
My nose is so stuffed up
I have a longtime love of cheap vanilla bean ice creams.

Things I have learned at my first job

You will get burned
You will get blisters
you will get burns on your blisters
you will get blisters on your blisters
You will get wet
Your pants will get uncomfortable
Your feet will hurt so badly that they start to spasm when you drive home
Your legs will be bruised for NO reason
You will slip on everything
You will fall
You will drop things
You will fuck stuff up
You will have a nervous breakdown in the bathroom
Someone will fuck you over
The check will not be worth it
Your back will ache
your hair will always be dirty
You will be too tired to study or sleep or shower
your hands will be dry
You will fuck things up
Your face will breakout
You will fuck things up

Look what came in the mail yesterday.

Second day of work today

My feet hurt
My legs hurt
my head hurts
And I'm too tired to deal with this.


But I'm hot and ready.

And this is why I'm tired of romantic comedy

If you've ever seen a Romantic comedy, and I'm sure you have you know the formula, a cute but quirky and sometimes underdone woman is focused on her career/having an emotional crises/watching her life go down the shitter when aha! She stumbles upon a nice man who looks like this:

And who will chuckle as I say something mortifying and at the same time cute and save me from certain death or a career fail, then we will go to dinner and I will discover just before that I am beautiful.

You see I've gone my whole life not knowing that adding a bit of makeup and taking off my glasses, maybe tossing on a short dress would totally make me beautiful as I've spent my entire life deciding that I'm a hideous gremlin.


For the record Hollywood, I look like this without makeup on

And I look like this with makeup on and my hair done

Okay Mathew, I'm going to go trip in the street and I expect you there before the car hits mme.